Bubble Head

Sorry for the lapse in posts recently, as I’ve had some “technical difficulty.” As some of you know, I’ve been moving around quite a bit the past month and finally just settled into a place for the next six months ( my program will be over and I’ll be a Master!) There’s been a lot of YIKES oriented moments and I’ve got about four posts on deck for you that I’ll disperse over the next week! I thought about combining two incidents that happened recently but decided to separate them because they fall into different yet equal “YIKES” categories. Since we’re on the topic of moving, let’s roll with that one today.

When the day finally came to move, I was totally relieved. As much as I love my family, sharing a bed with your mother at 25 is eh…rather disturbing and yikes-worthy all on its own. Throw that and a grumpy brother who works 72 hour works days and self-medicates so as to not burn down his workplace and we have a PAR-TAY! Also, you know my doggie (but don’t tell him that, he thinks he’s a human) couldn’t be there, as I’d mentioned before. WITH that said, I was happy to move. There were some other feelings associated with the move that were kind of keeping me in a fog. For some reason, I was focusing on the wrong aspects that day and began feeling like I had the onslaught of Multiple Personality Disorder.

Ever had something really traumatic or shocking happen to you, and it’s like you have different pieces of your psyche acting out how you feel in an all out “crazy competition?” Yes, I know that sounds nuts, but it’s really not supposed to! It’s like when you rationalize a situation. A small piece of you is like, “well, this happened because I didn’t fold the quilt right and then it really hurt its feelings and I…” Then, your rational side kicks in and is like, “listen psycho that could NOT have been the case, it’s because…” Somewhere in there, the “STRONG” piece of you emerges for a little fun, potentially saying, “listen girl, you don’t need that shit. You did everything to make that quilt happy and you deserve a quilt who will REALLY keep you warm.” For ten seconds you feel better, until your lame, overly sensitive, spineless side kicks in with a wimpy, “ I just wish, I could hold that quilt one more time…twirl it’s tattered corners in between my fingers and let it know…it keeps my heart warm.” Barf.

THIS is what I mean. I swear if you tell me this has never happened to anyone else, I’ll get help, I promise. But it happens in all situations! I had something happen at work TODAY that made my psyche freak out and split into the seven schizophrenics!

However, on the day I’m writing about, it was in regards to another topic that was keeping me (let’s call it) “blissfully unaware.” This is important. Before I finish moving, my mom offers to iron everything for me as my new roommate and I have nothing in the house to iron with. “Okay, thanks mom,” I say. “No problem honey, do you think you can hand me the starch? I’m not sure if we have any, but if we do it’s in the cabinet in the bathroom.” I’m not really paying attention, as my mind is somewhere between the “STRONG” psyche and wimpy one. Listlessly, I traipse over to the cabinet and glance quickly at three bottles. “There’s plenty of starch mom, “I reply and grab a bottle. The entire time she’s ironing, she keeps complaining. “I’m not sure why this isn’t working as well today! The starch might be bad?” “I don’t know mom, sorry.” As she finishes the last pant leg on my white pants, she turns to me and in that angry mom voice says,    “OH, ALLYSON!” “WHAT!?” I reply, snapping me out of my sappy mindset. “You know, I was wondering why the ‘starch’ was coming out ORANGE on the clothes! You didn’t give me starch, you handed me SCRUBBING BUBBLES!”

From there, we laughed for a good twenty minutes, both of us just about rolling on the floor. Had I of paid more attention to the bottles below (which all turned out to be Scrubbing Bubbles) and had my mom of even glanced slightly at the can, perhaps we could’ve avoided the mishap! However, you’ll be glad to know, nothing happen to my clothes and they are now soap scum and grime free!